Note: Perfection is the biggest productivity killer in stopping you from getting shit done. If you wanna start something, just jump in and do it. I wrote this post within 2 hours (I’m a slow writer) so it’s got a lot of holes. Heck, I didn’t even read over this so I don’t even know what I wrote. So… the longer this is up, the longer I’m shooting myself in the foot. But I have a rule. The moment I start writing something… I have to publish it at the end. Finished or not.
I had a session with a life coach the other week.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Life coaches are a big joke. They’re a scam. Is Anthony that retarded to pay for a session with a scam artist?
Yeah, I’ve heard of it all before and yes. That’s what I thought of them (and still do). But… the reason why I did it was that…
- I’m open to anything and everything. How do I know if it’s a scam if I’ve never had a life coaching session?
- I’ve worked with this person in the past and know she’s a good person. She doesn’t seem scammy
Why Did I Get a Session in the First Place?
Two years ago, I wanted to create an online business that allowed me the freedom to travel the world, and I could work whenever and wherever I want.
Right now, I felt like I achieved 80% of it. I’ve got the freedom to work whenever and wherever I want. I’ve met a lot of cool people along the way.
This was my life’s goal for the past 2 years. It was my drive. My motivation. Now… that I partially achieved it, I’m looking for the next step. It’s normal for us humans to always look for the next step. So naturally, I felt a little “lost” and lost my “desire” or my “hunger” for this lifestyle.
I mentioned this to my mastermind, and they suggested two things:
- Take psychedelics
- Get advice from a life coach on how to find my life’s purpose
Shooting Them a Message
At first, I thought it was funny. Of course she wouldn’t give me advice. She just wanted to shoot me through her funnel so she could upsell me at the end. I’m a marketer, and I’m always looking out for these things.
But… hey. It was free so what do I have to lose?
I’m just going to do it for the reference experience.
How the Session Went
So I arrived at her house.
Next minute, we’re both on wooden chairs face to face with each other – interview-like style.
I’ll try to break down what happened. There was a lot of things that occurred within the session.
She wanted me to feel comfortable and gave me the “what’s happens in here, stays in here.” That’s cool with me.
Next, she wanted me to be honest and wanted me to get anything out of my chest before we properly begin. I guess because you can’t get a good session going if both parties ain’t going to be honest. Sure. So I told her my honest thoughts about life coaches. Things like…
- My skeptical view on life coaches and how they seem like scam artists
- How a 25-year-old person has the “rights” to coach someone on how to live life, especially if the other person is a 50-year-old.
I could feel how genuine she was when answering these
- A true life coach is one who gets immense joy helping people out even if there’s no monetary reward for them. I say “true” because you get a lot of low-quality coaches that sell shitty advice
- A true life coach doesn’t enforce their ideology or views onto you. They just help guide you towards the direction by asking you questions – this was super important as I discovered and rediscovered things that I knew the answer deep down only because she asked me specific questions.
Next, we did a guided meditation session. I think it was about 15 minutes long. Not too sure… It went pretty fast.
Ok… the real session begins here – discovering my life’s purpose.
She asked me, “why? ”
Why do I want to discover my life’s purpose.?
To be happy, I said. Isn’t that everyone’s goal?
I then told her my whole dilemma of how I ended up here. Why I’m getting a session with her. What my goal was 2 years ago. etc etc.
We then talked about the difference between a life goal and life’s purpose. Sure they’re different, but definitions are definitions. I just need something to reignite my spark and motivation. Same same. (kind of).
Ok… so what defines a life goal? What criteria does it have to be?
I’m now recollecting the times that I had this purpose of life goal.
- Graduating in civil engineering – It was my final year of high school during exam session. Everyone was unsure what they were going to do after high school or what they’re gonna study. I had no idea, but I thought of civil engineering somehow. This one guy that I was good friends with at the time (not anymore) laughed at me when I said this. “Dude, you got to be smart for that.” “Fuck this guy,” I told myself. I’m going to prove him wrong. Four years later… BOOM. I graduated. Petty goal. I KNOW.
- Making money online so that I can work whenever and wherever I want – I gave up on civil engineering. 4 years down the drain. I just had to make this shit happen. I took an online course in digital marketing. I applied everywhere. I somehow landed an apprenticeship with one of the best digital marketers in the world and the dude was 20.
There were several other things along the way. Quick note. These probably ain’t considered a life’s purpose… more like a big ass goal at the time. at this moment in the session, I’m starting to realize the difference between a life goal and life’s purpose.
A life goal is just something you’re fucking obsessed with at the point of time in your life. It’s only one big ass goal.
A life’s purpose is a mission in life. Maybe that’s why they say your mission should be helping people – all self-help gurus talk about this all the time. Your desire should be to helping people. Oh well… that’s not me. I’m selfish. I just wanna enjoy my life.
Anyway… looking at my past “life goals” (things I had an obsession with), the commonality they all had were…
- They had to be challenging – If it’s too easy, it’s not fun. I like to challenge myself.
- It had to be badass
- I have to enjoy it (kinda obvious)
- That instant emotional “spark” that tells me, “this is it.”
OK… so if this is my criteria for a “life goal”, how do I find it?
“What did you do in the past when you found your previous life goals?”
- Break the pattern
- Change your environment
- Do something new.
How am I that stupid? I’ve given this advice to several people before. How could I forget about this? Dam, this girl is good. She just made me rediscover something I knew deep down.
Well… I think I found my answer? Maybe.
She then wanted to help me find the answer by doing several exercises.
Exercise 1 – write down 50 positives about myself – I didn’t do this in the session. It was my homework. Basically, it went like this…
- Write down 50 things that I’m good at, haven’t a talent for, I enjoy, etc.
- Filter through each of the 50 things into a checklist. The checklist is the 4 criteria I defined to be worthy of a life goal (had to be badass, challenging, I have to enjoy it, etc.).
To be honest… I don’t think this would work. Criteria 4 was the feeling I got when the idea came to my head. If it’s already in my head, I would know it.
But… I’ll just kept this to myself.
Exercise 2 – Time machine
Time was actually up at this point, but she wanted to try this out. Pretty good if you ask me. She was really committed to this which shows how genuine she was with this session.
I’ve had a time machine exercise done on me in the past, so I wasn’t expecting much.
This is how it went:
We’re 3 years ahead into the future. I’m going to talk about all the accomplishments I did over the 3 years.
The exercise was actually harder than I thought because how do you know what to talk about when you don’t know what you want to do.
But the point of the exercise was to get me talking and not overthink. Just keep talking. So I did just that…
So… Did I Get My Answer?
I actually did, funny enough.
I won’t say too much, but I have this immense desire to help people. Not too sure how though… I’m still working on that.
Who would’ve thought… I was always looking out for myself. I thought I was selfish. I mean… I just wanna travel and have the freedom to do whatever I want. Party, meet girls, etc.
Where did I get this idea from?
A blend of the following…
- Dinner with 4 YouTubers (3 online fitness coaches and 1 dating coach) over Mexican food
- A girl I use to date that messages me out of nowhere after 10 months
- Random people I never meet, messaging me after an interview I did with a YouTuber with 350K subscribers
- My blog for motivating and inspiring so many different people
- Convincing a girl who had low self-esteem issues that she has modeling potential (Now she’s getting paid to have people take photos of her)
Random. I know.
My Final Thoughts on Life Coaches
I’ve only had one session so I don’t have much reference experience, but this life coach is fucking awesome.
I discovered and rediscovered so many things that I forgot.
If you ever have the opportunity to have a session with a life coach, why not try it out?
Drop your ego and your negative view on life coaches. You don’t know shit until you tried it.
It’s like if everyone was saying that apples are disgusting. How do you know that? Have you ever tried tasting the apple yourself?
In the past, I had an inflated ego. I wouldn’t talk to some people as I wouldn’t think they could provide me with anything useful. Then one day, this one person said “everyone has something that you can learn from. Always. It’s your negative barrier that’s stopping you from learning from them”.
Instead of telling yourself “this is such a waste of time,” tell yourself, “what can I learn from this person?”
Hey June, if you’re reading this, I want to say, THANK YOU.
If you guys need some help, shoot June a message. You won’t regret it – https://www.facebook.com/AuthenticJune/